I am jealous of my husbands first wife! i love him and expecting a baby too.How do i cope with the jealousy?

I love my husband very much and he does everything for me materially and immaterial too.Its just that when he goes to the first wife or the nights he isnt with me it drives me nuts.I was expecting before i got married and i wanted to save the baby and didnt think at that moment of how the scenario should have been and in my culture the only choice i had was to marry him and give my baby a name.I am a divorcee with one child and he has given my x's child his name too.I want to cope but somehow something or the other always creeps in.the social outings and the time he spends with the first family.He has two kids one an adult.We have a huge age difference too.Its just been a month we are married and feel miserable already.I need help and a way to save this marriage and keep myself stressfree and keep him happy without cursing him at the end of the day.I dated him 3 years before we got married.help me to make this work.I am jealous of my husbands first wife! i love him and expecting a baby too.How do i cope with the jealousy?
Just tell yourself this...she's his ex for a reason. That's all you need to know. If she were as perfect as your insecurities make you think she is then she wouldn't be his ex. Your husband sounds like a responsible, upstanding man and I know it's hard but pray for the strength to deal with it because I know you don't want to drive him away with your jealousy. Please try not to curse at him...find something to do, something that use to work for me when I was in a long distance relationship and would get a little paranoid I'd try new recipes...it was aversion therapy. When ever I get antsy and let my imagination run away with me I'd get out the cookbook and find a new recipe to try (sometimes dessert or sometimes a meal) then I'd see what ingredients I didn't have then go to the grocery store, pick them up and then come home and cook! I was like I was on a mission and focusing on that helped me to take my mind off my irrational fear (I had no proof or reason to be jealous). Just remember she's the past and you're future try to focus on that.





Here's the Serenity Prayer that you can recite to calm yourself when you start to panic or over react:





God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, (the fact that she's in his life and they have kids together)


Courage to change the things I can (improve and strenghten your own relationship and not let your fear or paranoia get the better of you)


And wisdom to know the difference. (don't flog a dead horse..it's what it is so find a way to co-exist with her)





Good luck hon.I am jealous of my husbands first wife! i love him and expecting a baby too.How do i cope with the jealousy?
You guys missed the boat. The man is a polygamist...he is STILL MARRIED to wife # 1!!!





If it bothers you know honey how will you feel when he marreis two more...BLEECH! Find a nice one woman kindof guy. I wouldn't share my husband with any woman..religion or no.

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eh? dont know how to help you on this one....apparently, your husband has TWO WIVES...is that it? cuz, there's no 'ex' in this and it appears to me that your choice to be a 'second' wife and he lives in two different houses. guess you might ask his first wife for some suggestions on how she deals with knowing he is with you on the other nights while he's away from her. good luck.
By going to the ex wife's, do you mean he stays overnight with her? Why would he do that? Even allowing for a cultural difference that doesn't seem appropriate.
Control issues: read:





http://www.coping.org/control/helpless.h鈥?/a>
Pray about it.


Control your thoughts by thinking positive.


Ask God to comfort and guide you.
everything is going to be just fine.you have to stop being jealous and insecure,concentrate on your child and a baby you're expecting.if your husband has kids with his ex-wife,he is attached with his ex family forever,but not the same way he is with you.he may love his kids from previous marriage and he may respect his ex-wife it only tells what an amazing father he is.you're very lucky to have husband like he is.always remember,you are his PRESENT wife and the mother of his other kids is his ex.If somebody has to be jealous its her,not you.
what does he go to his ex wifes for?





In your question you were unclear that he could have more than 1 wife. I would not have married someone that I would have to share with another woman. Jealousy is human nature. It is a tough way to live and I wish you well. GOOD LUCK
I suggest you communicate with him, you are pregnant, so you do have the hormones that come along with pregnancy also, the emotional ones, you sound very emotional now, and I would suggest that you calm down, and talk to him about how you feel, tell him what you told us, it is not good for you and you unborn child to be feeling and to be going through this stress.





Just calm down and communicate with your husband, get it all off of your chest, and when you do, you will feel like this big burden is lifted off of you.





For the health of you and your unborn child, you have to talk to your husband about how you feel.