Here's the problem...everybody around me is getting pregnant, and I'm terribly jealous. Our best friends just had their second baby, and our other closest friends have an 8 month old. I have a coworker due in August, 2 friends due in October (one who got married AFTER we did), and in the past week have found out that my cousin is pregnant again, and so is my ';I'm sad I'm not pregnant'; buddy.
So my question is...how do you keep this from not driving you crazy? I DESPERATELY want kids (always have), and while I recognize the need to wait, it's killing me to watch everybody esle get what I want. Does anybody have any good suggestions on coping while WTC? I feel so bad about being jealous...How do you deal with jealousy when your friends get pregnant?
ha, i hear ya. being jealous feels jerky and self-involved. I guess i just try to keep in mind that my time will come and when it does I'll be elated and I'll feel like it was the prefect time. Right now it's their time. I celebrate them in all the ways that they deserve and hope that they'll celebrate me in return. I rub bellies and surprise them with little silly baby presents...
When that doesn't work i come on here and get swallowed up by the mania. I read about other people's pregnancies and experiences, I answer questions and post some of my own. I work on a baby clothing sewing/art project that I've had in my head for a while, and I try to enjoy each day as it comes and know that somewhere in the cosmos my future kiddo is floating around looking for me and when they find me, we'll meet and fall in love.
When that doesn't work I eat chocolate, rant to my husband and feel sorry for myself ;) good luck.How do you deal with jealousy when your friends get pregnant?
You guys all had fantastic answers, thank you! My mom told me after I asked this question that 2 more of my cousins are pregnant, so that brings my total number up to 7 from August-January. My husband said if I get a better job we can TTC, so I'll keep you updated!
Report Abuse
just keep positive i've been ttc for almost a year now and my best friend ended up pregnant she just had her baby boy in april. I love the both of them dearly , but thats not stopping jelousy from time to time. I just tell myself its not there fault i know she loves me and I just to be happy for her, it would be selfish not to. She supports me and i know i wouldn't feel right not supporting her because of my own emotions. I just have to know my time will come.
There is never a right time to have a baby as said in a friends episode. Wait until it feels right but if your getting that upset it could be your gut telling you its time.
Just keep listening to the gut and if its saying its a bad time..just listen to it..and be comfortable with it.
I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND!!!i was trying to conceive just three months in that time my sisters bestfriends got pregnant and even a couple of my friends did too.Talk to your husband about trying to conceive now!I was jealous but i just said well it's their time not mine and im now pregnant
Adoptions have own do child care.
I would just obsess with them and their pregnancies and be happy for them. Baby sit for them so you get a good feeling about the children. its great practice. Even pretend your the mom. Not is a psyco way...but treat the kid like it was yours..talk to it the way you would if it was yours and try to think of the reasons its best you dnt have one yet. It was really hard when everyone I knew got pregnant and I wasnt. then I got pregnant. and had 2 friends that were VERY close to my due date. one was even one day farther that I was, then I miscarried and I was so hard to be around them. I learned to not cry anymore and celebrated with them and gave them the day by day book and week by week book. I still follow how far along they are with them and get excited with them, although I am pregnant again. 4 weeks on Tues. But I went to a friends a few weeks ago to meet her new daughter and had a blast. I held her and talked to her and everything. I treated her like my own and it felt good to know I thought I could be good mom. I heard she missed me and her mom can wait till I come back there is a few weeks to see her little one again. IM excited to have the practice so I know what to do when I give birth to the child(S) I am carrying right nw. Good luck
That is totally natural to feel that way. Just look at the positives of NOT having a child quite yet...you don't have a huge responsibility holding you back, you get to spend that one on one time with your husband basically when you want or need it, you're getting sleep, which your friends pry aren't, and you get more time to just bond, which honestly...I must say, I'm actually kind of jelous of you!! My husband and I never really got that time...two months before our wedding, we found out I was pregnant. Having a child is the most rewarding thing in the world, but having alone time with your husband would've been a very much wanted thing for some people. Oh, and by the way, I don't think anyone is ever financially ready for a child!! lol:P
I think it's natural to feel that way! Try to remember that your time will come, and also that there really is never a ';good'; time to have a baby. As far as where you are in life, that is. Have yourself a good cry, and then be happy for all of your friends that are there, this will give you good practice for when you and your hubby are ready. But enjoy the time you have with him by yourself b/c once that little bundle of joy comes there won't be much of that.
Don't feel bad for how you feel though, it's ok!
Good luck
your feelings are completely normal under those circumstances. remember, there is never a right time to have kids. you state that you are not even TTC. maybe you'll be one of those lucky people who gets pregnant the first cycle! TTC can take a while, so go for it!! focus on you and your relationship. i'm excited for you b/c you don't have the TTC tiremarks that most of us here at yahoo TTC have.
go for it. things always have a way of working out. if you are lucky enough to fall pregnant, you and your husband will find a way to make it work.
You just spelled out my story -- completely...
What I have found myself doing over and over again is remaining positive. I'm glad I'm in a great relationship, so many people are alone and I've got a great hubby. I'm thankful I can handle everything on my plate -- we're very self-sufficient, and do not require outside assistance from anyone. I'm happy with my life, can handle what I have and try to enjoy what I do have, and not dwell on what I don't have.
I hate people telling me ';what to do';, and I almost dread getting pregnant. I just don't want to hear it. At this point, I am one of the only ones in my circle of friends %26amp; family that does not have any kids. I'm not trying to have one, and have to believe when the time is right, it will happen, but for now, I will work at being the best ';Me'; I can be -- and to do that, I should be happy for those who are taking on one of the hardest jobs they will ever have -- parenting.
Good luck to us both! Honestly, I'm a little happier knowing that someone out there is so much like me.
No comments:
Post a Comment