How do I deal with feelings about my fiance having a child? I have known about the little girl since we got?

together. We have just gotten engaged after 3 years together and have a great relationship. I've never met her and he doesn't have visitation but wants to start the process to get her to come stay with us for visits. The girl is about 10 and he hasn't been with the mother for about 8 years. The mother is not involved in our lives at all, she doesn't call or nag, she is married with another child, so that is not the problem. I just have this nagging feeling and hurt about him once loving this woman so much they made a child together, and although I know he does not care for her, and even considers having a child with her a mistake, it still hurts me, especially when I wonder if for whatever reason I'm not able to make a baby with him in the future. I wish this didn't bother me but it does. I find myself almost in tears thinking about this product of love that they made together. Of course, it's not that I want him to abandon the child, that is not the type of man I'd want to be with, but how do I cope with this feeling I can't even define? Is it jealousy, insecurity, or what? Obviously, I do want to be with him, and I'd never mistreat the child, but I just hate to feel this and have these thoughts in the back of my head when they are really so unlike me. I don't want to be this type of person.How do I deal with feelings about my fiance having a child? I have known about the little girl since we got?
Those nagging thoughts will probably never completely go away. But one thing you should do to balance out your thoughts is think back on your own past. Are there relationships you have been in that you loved someone. But for whatever reasons it didn't work out. Same goes for your fiance, accept he had a child. You are probably feeling threatened simply because you are scared of the unknown. His ex has been an ex for quite some time and has moved on. This will be a BIG advantage in helping you get thru this. It is hard being in your position. But you could possibly turn this situation around in your favor. You can be a positive influence on his child. Can you imagine how much your fiance will love %26amp; appreciate this. You will be ok. What you are feeling is normal.How do I deal with feelings about my fiance having a child? I have known about the little girl since we got?
For both of your sakes don't advance this relationship any further as you have emotional issues and until you can resolve this you will make both of you miserable
This don't make since to me. Maybe he loved this women at one time but this have been 10 years ago. Why should u worry about his past. I'm sure that u have a past also and loved other people before u meet him but, for some reason u don't love them no more. Just b/c there is a child involve don't mean that he want to be back with the mother. She have moved on with her life and establish her own family


He had a child way before u came a long. Now that he want the child to be apart of his life u have to pull ur self together and stop having those feeling b/c It's sound like u r insecure about not being able to have a child with him.


It don't matter why he waited so long to get in his child life but if this is what he wants then u have to support him and put ur emotional aside if u don't want to lose him. When the time is right u and him will have ur own family just like his child mother have her own family.


O never let him hear u refer to his child as a product. This child have a name and that is so rude to label any child as a product and it wasn't a mistake b/c all children r a precious gift from God