So, here's the situation: I've really never had a good, healthy relationship with women before. It's always ended with me getting hurt, usually through them choosing to be with another guy over me, even if she was ';committed'; to me. This experience has made me very skeptical of women and I tend to get rather jealous and possessive if another guy comes around as that's typically when I lose a girl I care about. It feels like a defense mechanism that only makes the problem worse. And I refuse to compete in situations like these. I don't know what it is, it just seems to happen without fail. Anyway, the same thing is happening right now. I met this girl who I really care a lot about because I feel like I can relate to her. I feel like we were starting to get close and she was showing signs of liking me. I've been talking to her for about a month now and suddenly her old manager comes into the picture and he's trying to date her. Since he's come into the picture, she seems pretty distant. She knows I like her, but when I try to talk about it, she seems to change subject. When she told me that her old manager is trying to date her, I could really feel this jealous feeling rising up again, but didn't say anything about it to her because I try to resist the urges of getting upset and becoming possessive. After a while it just got to me and I got upset and told her how I feel about it all. She told me that she told her old manager that she doesn't want to date him and that I don't need to worry. That made me feel a little better until I heard today that the guy is asking her to go out for dinner and a movie early this coming week. I don't know about you, but that kind of sounds like a date to me. So, I'm left wondering if she really told her old manager no or if she was just trying to shut me up. My guess is the latter.
Regardless, I feel rather angry right now about the situation. I would just like to know if anyone has a good way to handle situations like this? How do you manage your feelings and not feel so angry? I would really like to know because I hate being like this. I've had female friends with jealous, possessive boyfriends before and they are really jerks. I don't want to be like them. I hate being like this, and furthermore, knowing that I am like this. I'd love to know some techniques to use to calm down or not feel so jealous. Does anybody have any pointers to help me? Any advice would be greatly appreciated as I know I have a problem that I need to deal with. Thanks in advance! (Sorry for the long message)Is there a way to deal with jealousy and possessive behavior?
Are you a Scorpio man? Like Birthday in November? I know those people tend to be very possessive and jealous. I was like that when I was in my 20s, somewhere along the way I just said, if it wasn't meant to be then it just wasn't meant to be. I trust people until I am given a reason not to. I don't worry about what they do. I stay clear of people I don't trust.Is there a way to deal with jealousy and possessive behavior?
i will say that its not a bad thing that its long, it helps with understanding thoroughly what is going on. i will say that it helps to try and trust the woman and know that she is for you and also that she wont try anything with any other guy. also, its also a fact of keeping yourself reassured that you have no reason to be jealous. good luck. i am sorry if i am of no help.
I am kind of confused, are you and this girl together? If you are remember that you have no reason to not trust her, she hasn't done anything. You cannot get mad at someone for someone else's actions. If you are not together, see if she would be willing to take it to a different level and go on from there. I think you may also try seeking some pro help for your trust and anxiety about making long term trusting bonds with women. I hope this helps, best of luck!
I think the more you show jealousy and being possessive the more that the person your doing it to wants to be away from you. I have been on both sided of the coin and when I was with the jealous and possessive person I could see why it drives the other person away. Who wants to be questioned all the time about where you been who you talked to what about and so on. That is how I changed was to be with someone who was the jealous and possessive person and didn't want to do that to someone else because all I wanted was to be away from this guy. Being that way I think just drives the other person away.
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