Jealousy.
See, I'd personally be open to having a polyamorous relationship.
It's just that I naturally get this feeling of jealousy, when I date someone, if I can't have them completely to myself. If I saw them with somebody else, it would probably f*ck me up pretty badly..
How do you manage to cope with this?
Do you even experience jealousy as an instinct?
Did you experience it in the past, but no longer?
Or what..?
I guess, either you just don't naturally have it as much as certain other people do, or you somehow taught yourself how to get over it..? Is that right? If so, which? And if not, how is it really?
Looking forward to seeing your answers. =)
(Don't really know if LGBT is the right category for this question, but where else should I post it..?)Any polyamorous people here..?
Jealousy is the number one relationship killer. That's the same for a poly relationship. You have to check it at the door, for good, and not let it get an inch into you or else you may as well kiss your relationship's health goodbye.
The key to kicking in the teeth is open discussion between all partners involved. So long as everyone is talking and honesty, you can squash it.
If someone doesn't want to be honest, or talk... then they are feeding the jealousy with their greed. You don't horde your negative emotions if you want a positive relationship.
Really, its just like any good relationship oughta be.Any polyamorous people here..?
I'm not polyamorous or anything but it doesn't sound to me that you're really cut out for it simply because you need to be comfortable seeing the people that you're dating, sharing intimate little nothings with other people...Not too many people can handle that without getting jealous, and if you get upset every time your significant others show attention to their significant others, you'll spend all of your time fighting with them.
Don't even try it until you get over that jealousy thing...
I kinda feel like that. I'm a bisexual poly and I get really jealous when I see my boyfriend talk to another girl or stare at her too long. He gets jealous if I talk to other guys. Being in college 7 hours away helped. We decided to have a semi open relationship. I could date girls or guys here and he could date girls at home as long as we still are together. I love being in love with people. It makes me appreciate people too. I can't tell you how to get over jealousy, it is hard but talk it out with whoever you date. Letting it out always made me feel better.
Good luck :)
Jealousy is a bad choice of attitude. I bet you are dwelling on those thoughts. Only you can fix that. Shake your head and give yourself an attitude adjustment. Concentrate on positive things.
I think you shouldnt get into that kind of relationship. There is nothing wrong with wanting a person to yourself. As far as dealing with jealousy... try meditation! It helps at times!
jdft
I haven't yet had a poly relationship, but I'm very open to the idea, if the right people were to come into my life.
From everything I read and hear from poly people, they either naturally don't feel jealousy (and simply never have), or they deal with it like anybody else (and, given the number of ';Dealing with Jealousy'; sections in poly resources, I'm assuming a fair number of poly people get jealous).
I'm reading Tristan Taormino's ';Opening Up'; right now, and there are many stories and personal anecdotes in there from folks she's interviewed, and many individuals talk about how they come to see their jealousy as a result of some sort of insecurity, and that when they talk it out, they discover the actual source of that insecurity (like she feels like he's spending less and less time with her and is worried that means he likes his other partner more . . . they talk about it, she airs her concerns, he addresses them, and they work on time management so she is getting what she needs and doesn't feel insecure). It's about looking at the source of the jealousy.
The one thing I do know is that you should NEVER ';just get over it';. Trying to rationalize away your feelings doesn't work- you can't just say ';I shouldn't be jealous, so I won't be.';. That's a recipe for disaster, for resentment building up and spilling out of you at the least expected time. You always have to confront your jealousy by discussing it with your partners.
I know I'm not much help, having no personal experience, but yeah. I hope that helps a little bit at least!
Whatever happens, good luck!
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