Coping with my 8yr old's Jealousy?

I'm a single mom who's found love and have now blended our families. I am fully aware of the jealousy issue's my daughter is having, and after 7 months of reading about this topic, I feel very lost. I've tried everything I can think of from ';mom and daughter days';, ';Days of bonding the 3 of us';, ';writing her a story on how happy she's made my life';, ';writing her cards of love';, constantly telling her she's the most important person in my life.....EVERYTHING...well, obviously not everything as nothing has changed/helped in this situation. Any ideas out there as to where to go from here?Coping with my 8yr old's Jealousy?
Sometimes compensating for such things can make things worse. Are you compensating because your daughter is jealous or because you have feelings of guilt that she is no longer your only priority?





Your daughter may see your efforts to bond as a reward for the jealous behaviour and so the behaviour will continue because she sees that she is in control. An 8 year old in control will make your life a nightmare.





Try to ignore the attention seeking behaviour, firmly discipline the stuff that crosses that line and reward her for the positive stuff.





Part of merging families means that she is no longer the centre of your world and that is tough when that is the role you have always had. In reality she needs to know this anyway as she will not be the centre of everyone's attention in the big bad world when she grows up!





Try leaving her and your new partner to sort out their own relationship. Let them go out together on an errand or leave them at home for an hour or two to do some baking, or DIY or something fun that they will both enjoy.





Ultimately your daughter's nose may be out of joint but she needs to know that you have a right to a life and that she cannot dictate to you how that life is led. As long as she is love, nurtured and has what she needs, she needs to learn to adjust. At the moment she seems to be the tail wagging the dog!





You have every right to a life of your own and as long as it not harming her (which I am sure it isn't - you clearly love her dearly) there is no reason to feel bad or guilty for being in love.





I hope that everything works out for you soonCoping with my 8yr old's Jealousy?
keep doing what you are doing. She is listening to you!
I know it is so often said on here, but seriously try therapy. I know it sounds hokey or time consuming, but my 4 kids are in play therapy since my divorce, and it has helped them cope alot. They are between 9 and 5.





It will re-establish boundaries and show them acceptable behavior from someone other than you.





My other piece of advice, would be to slow down on the constant praise. Don't stop, just make her work a little more for it. I bet she secretly loves the cards, but using the reverse psychology works.





Its like knowing that you can eat as much candy as you want, so you don't appreciate it on special occasions when you get treated? If she constantly knows you are vying for her affection, she is more apt to get annoyed and not appreciate you as she should.
It sounds like you're doing all the right things.


Maybe counseling for your daughter (%26amp; possibly you too), if it gets that bad?





Try to talk to her honestly and openly about how you feel too.


Explain to her that nothing will ever change your love for her, and that no matter what, you'll be there for her.
Talking and time heal all wounds. Don't beat around the bush. Use open and honest conversation with dialog specific to dealing with the problem. Ask her about her jealousy. What specifically bothers her and how she would fix it if she were you. Listen to her, do what you can to fix what you can and explain what you cannot do and why you feel that way about those thing. There is no magic 'thing' you can do. The magic is in having an open relationship with the child that is firmly rooted in daily conversation and understanding.
You have obviously tried very hard to let her know how special she is and what she means to you. It sounds like some ';tough love'; may be in order....


Let her know in a kind manner that your world does NOT revolve around her. You have yourself, a career, and a husband as well. And ALL are important parts of your life.


It is SHE that makes the decision as to whether she will be an active, happy participant in this life - or feel sorry for herself. She is old enough to know that she is responsible for her actions. It is up to you not to enable her to continue her self-pity.


The sooner she learns that she is responsible for her own happiness.....the sooner she will begin enjoying her life. Seems to me she has a lot to be thankful for....


Release any guilt you may feel......she is using it against you.
Maybe it's just him, Maybe she doesn't like him. My daughter didn't like a guy I dated she was very jealous, but when I met my husband I didn't have a problem with her. So you might want to look into that.
children are an excellent judge of character. They can see things we can't or don't want to see in a person. I dated a guy i thought was ok and my daughter hated him, we broke up and when i found my husband she loved him immediately. Just something to consider.
you need to sit her down and explain the way things are and are gonna be in the future. that you love her but you are going to have relationships with other people. you may have been doing more harm than good with all the extra attention to soften the transition of this guy coming into the picture.





You are the adult, and she is the child and you have to live your life too or you will be a hostage of your child your whole life. life is full of disappointments and she needs to realize that she doesnt always get what she wants (like you and your attention all to herself).