Jealousy and insecurites are ruining my relationship. please answer?

im seeing this guy who i really like and even lost my virginity to the other day. As a person in general im very insecure within myself and is something i have coped with and built on but still i sometimes find myself feeling like im not good enough.





this guy i am seeing is my first real guy(not my bf yet because we both have a skoolies trip and he doesnt want to commit to another chick right now-which im cool with because i would like to have a holiday with my mates too without worrying bout a potential bf). Anyways me and him are really close im even falling for him and him with me- lately however as i continue to really like him im becoming insecure and everything he does i second guess it and wonder if he likes me as much as i do him. And usually when i feel insecure with someone i run for the hills but with him i like him so much the idea doesnt exactly appeal.


He has never exaclty done anything to make me feel insecure - the only ';fault' is he has is hes never had a gf and sometimes says stupid stuff. I realise im emotionally high maintenance- physically im ok- i love my family and friends and have my own life outside of him- he is just a part of my life-not my life. But as i said emotionally i worry alot and always tell myself im not good enough and that he could never possibly like me as much as i like him so i withdraw and become distant towards him and not like my usually happy self like when im around family and friends- i see this ruining our relationship because he cant always justify his feelings towards me 24/7 and i know that but i still dont know how to combat this feelings and thinknig whern im with him. i dont want to lose him, i trust him 100% butmy insecurties put unrealistic doubts into my mind. I dont know what to do to get over it and i dont know if i should tell him how i feel. im stuckJealousy and insecurites are ruining my relationship. please answer?
Your question is so funny, I am now 28, my brother is 24, and my two youngest sisters are 18 and 15, and I gotta say, you sound like all of us at one point or another.


If I may say, your only mistake was losing your virginity to an undefined relationship, but with that being said, no use dwelling on what you can't change, who cares.


Love and relationships are crazy, I used to stay up all night thinking about my girl and how she could never like me the way I liked her, then I spoke to her sister and she said ';Amanda doesn't sleep thinking about you and your feeling toward her'; Still till this day I don't know who likes eachother more, and to be honest, in every relationship one person likes or loves more then the other, its not a big deal, its just a personal thing, As for Amanda and I, I don't know if I'm deeper in love or she is, but either way, we have been Happily Married for 8 years and have two beautiful kids. Stop stressing, He likes you, maybe not as much as you like him, or maybe those bags under his eyes are proof that love causes sleep deprivation...lolJealousy and insecurites are ruining my relationship. please answer?
Hi Bobbi,





Everyone feels insecure sometimes, but it seems like you are more than you think you should. Let me assure you that it's only natural. That's how love works. If you're falling for him you're going to feel like he's amazing, and you could never be good enough for him, which will cause to to feel insecure about yourself. Guys say stupid things all the time, especially if they're in love, because they feel awkward and just start spitting things out. Try not to let a couple stupid things change your image of him. This may not be the answer you want to hear, but there is really nothing you can do to erase this feeling of inadequacy. All you can do is try to make the relationship work and if you're meant to be together everything will fall into place.





So, bottom line: Make sure that somehow you let him know how you feel about him and maybe you can have a beautiful relationship. Your insecurities are only the result of your feelings for him and are completely natural.





Hope this helps,


Alex =]