Friday, August 20, 2010

Crying over sister's wedding..how do I cope?

My sister is getting married. I'm very happy for her, and sometimes serve as an intermediary between herself and her fiancee. I'm already dealing with problems of my own, but now I have to help her plan what seems to be a copy of my dream wedding. Everytime I tell her what I would do, she looks down some of it, but alot of my ideas end up in her wedding. She took my chosen hairstyle today and I've just been crying all afternoon. This isn't jealousy, but I don't know how I can deal especially with the wedding creeping up soon.


It feels like this will never happen for me. Maybe I should just give in and give away all of my ideas.Crying over sister's wedding..how do I cope?
Oh dear...I feel for you Hon. We all want our special day to be just that, special and it hurts when it seems someone had 'stolen' what we have planned for ourselves..


..but could it be she doesn't realise she's done so? People will hear/see things and forget where it came from....they only remember that they liked the idea.





So first dry your eyes. Now this is what you do....


Enjoy your sister's wedding dispite what has happened. Forgive and forget as it makes you the bigger person but.....


...until she finally marries share none of your plans with her. It's sad you have to do this but it's better this than what has been happening.





How about keeping a wedding journal for yourself where you jot down any ideas...keep it safe like a diary.





What I considered my dream wedding never came to be, for by the time I married my ideas and tastes had changed totally......the spring rainbow wedding I wanted at age 18 (just engaged), where each girl wore a different shade of the same dress and carried apple blossom bouquets turned into a June wedding where they wore blue %26amp; yellow rose print dresses,matching picture hats, and carried parasols to reflect an 'old south antebellum' look-NOT THEME and wore sweetheart roses in their wrist corsages.....I was 20 then.





So you see what I thought I wanted at 18 I didn't when I walked down the aisle.





Take heart, dear...you will have the wedding you imagine. It may not be the one you imagine now but as long as you love the guy you're hitching your star to, and he loves you back....you'll have the wedding of your dreams...Good Luck.Crying over sister's wedding..how do I cope?
Stop telling her your ideas, or you'll have nothing for when you get married!





This is her time, let her make her own decisions. When your time comes (which it will) you'll have a spectacular wedding. Until then, be happy for your sis but don't let her plan your dream wedding!





Good luck :)
keep your secrets/dream/idea to yourself -


i have a bunch of friends that are getting married, and well, we sort of know the unwritten rule of not sharing them (other than vendors, food..etc) simply to avoid drama
STOP CRYING you and your sister seem to be very close me and my sister havent spoken in 7 years over nonsense


it appears as if the two of you are so close that your dreams are her dreams and she wants you to help her plan and be involved but her downing your ideas is probably her way of making you come up with new ones dont be selfish it appears as if she needs ideas so give her some of yours but keep the most precious ones to yourself when you get around to planning yours it will be ten times better once you watch your sisters wedding play out you will come up with all sorts of new things as for being jealous dont get mad but i have to say it you should spend more time focusing on your love life and way way less on your sister and fiances problems cause their love life it great = they are getting married!


one day you will get married too and you can steal all of your sisters ideas if that will make you happy but i bet you any amout of money that it wont so instead just ask her to help you plan thats what she should have done i bet if she knew that your feelings were hurt she would apologize and say something similar to my answer except for the smart part
Why is it always such a big deal when people have similar weddings? You know, other women out there have used that hairstyle, colors, flowers and cake. This isn't a contest. Your sister doesn't sound very creative but it sounds like both of you need to grow up a bit. Getting married is about marriage not about the wedding! So what if she's copying you. Shouldn't your dream wedding just be about marrying the right man? Marriage isn't about how fancy your wedding is and what it looks like. None of your guests are going to remember all the details. Your time will come. You just want your time to be right now. Just be patient and have the wedding you want when it comes to that. The wedding is just one day long. If you marry the right man and she marries the right man then the rest doesn't matter.
Unless you are identical twins, you should be able to use the same general hairstyle but give it enough of a twist to make it yours (add flowers, a headband, etc.). Also, if you aren't currently engaged then the hairstyle may or may not be in fashion at the time of your wedding. So, it definitely wouldn't be worth creating family drama over. If you have a particularly personal idea that you truly want to keep for yourself, then do just that: Keep it to yourself.
I know it seems like she is ';stealing'; your ideas, but maybe she just really does value your opinion. Sit down with her and share your feelings and talk about it. So what if you have the same hair at your weddings? It's not like the weddings will be an exact copy of each other. My sister in law and I were married only five months apart to brothers and we like very similiar things (obviously-we married brothers:)) but nothing was the same. Our gowns were similiar styles, we wore our hair and veil very similiar, but the wedding and reception were very different. Ours was in August and theirs was New Years eve. Ours had a very summer feel, theirs very fitting to the season as well. So even though you like similiar things your weddings will be very different.
Yes you are jelouse, you sound just like my ex maid of honor... who said the same junk. Hence the reason she is the EX maid of honor because she had a crap attiude and wanted to be the bride more than me.





oh that is how i was going to do this and that. blah blah blah ...


Mine ex MOH even dare tell me i stole her flowers the type she wanted dasies , she didn't even have a boyfriend.





Stop acting like a baby , when it is your turn have the wedding the way you want.





if you don't want her to know your ideas then shut up and don't mention anything. By the time you get married you may want differnat things then you want now.





Unless you have set a date to get married yourself and have a finace .... then there is no wedding for you to plan...
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