How do i get over being jealous of my bf's ex? or is my jealousy founded?

my bf and i started seeing each other two years ago and he moved across a few states to be with me. we moved to fast and things ended badly after 4 months, and he moved back to where he came from, back into the arms of the woman he left to be with me. they have at least ten years of ups and downs together. just recently we started talking again, working things out and healing over the past, and hes no longer in a serious relationship w her any more, but they are still realy good friends. he goes over to her place at least once a week, and they cook dinner together and sit and watch their favorite tv shows together. he stays out w her untill the wee hours of the morning, but tells me that they are strickly platonic. he hasnt told her that we are getting back together bc he needs her help w taking him to do laundry bc he doesnt have a car, and knows that when she finds out, she wont ever want to talk to him again. he has told me that she asks him from time to time if she can ';spend the night';. he says he tells her no, and that they have no physical contact. im having a problem with her and her thoughts. since im not in the same state with him, i get jealous over how much time he spends with her when hes supposed to be mine. he tells me that if i trust him that i wouldnt feel jealous, but he left me and went back to her in the begining. im planning on moving to where he is to be with him, but my jealousy is making me afraid to move up there for fear that he mite leave me again and be with her since he values their ';friendship'; so much. am i justified in feeling this way? and if not, how can i cope?How do i get over being jealous of my bf's ex? or is my jealousy founded?
Sorry for the bad news, but:





Do not move to be with him. He's sleeping with her.





1) He has a 10 year relationship with this girl and it's still up and down. He lies to her about having you or she'll get mad. So he's proving that he cannot have an honest relationship with anyone. And, why would she get mad if they're ';just friends';?





If you ';have'; to be with him, let him move to your area, because I can guarantee that it won't last anyway.





I advise that you forget this user and loser and find a new guy.





Good LuckHow do i get over being jealous of my bf's ex? or is my jealousy founded?
Girl he's playing both of you. I wouldn't move over there and i can about guarantee he's more than friends with her see he can lie to you on the phone and you would never know they could be doing it and most likely they are. Get someone else don't get so hung up on this player you can do so much better. You can find any guy you want where you live so forget him and don't let him talk you into getting back with him you will get hurt and i hate seeing when guys do this i would just love to take them out and beat them with a big stick. Seriously just move on before you get hurt too bad you deserve better and there is way better than him out there. Good Luck and i hope you the best.
i went through the same thing,i felt like i was going to be jealous forever,i just had to really think why i was jealous and just decided to make an effort to stop those negative thoughts rather than trying to think them through, i just wanted to enjoy what time i spent in my realtionship and keep in a good frame of mind, but it takes work
sweetie, dump this loser. he's lying to you and still in a relationship with her. If they were truly platonic friends then she wouldn't care if he had a GF and it wouldn't matter who she was.





He's admitted that at the very least he's using her for what she does for him--my what a charmer and a great catch you have there (please tell me you know sarcasm when you see it). But really he's still her BF and you're still the other woman.





FWIW: your jealousy is doing exactly what it is supposed to do in this case. It's warning you that someone is lying to you and something isn't kosher. When jealousy is warranted, you lose the jealousy by elminating the reason for it. In your case it means losing him.





So many people give jealousy a bad rap. Jealousy is your warning system that something isn't right. When the reason for the jealousy is external, then everything is working like it should. YOU aren't the problem unless you choose to ignore it.





when your jealousy is internal, then something isn't working like it should and YOU ARE the problem and you work on you. That's not the case here. Your jealousy is not unfounded.