Im going insane..please, help me..?

i've always been a loner...All my life..I've always been single..And everyday, im beaten, threatened with guns and knives..Even the girls treat me badly..I've come to a conclusion that its not the schools i go to..It's the city I live in..A few months ago, I met my first friend ever..


Now because i've been alone for so long, its hard to cope..





I've always had anger issues..I've always felt nothing but hate..I hate everyone who has a girlfriend or boyfriend. I've always been jealous, and i've always hated the world..I talk to a few girls on the internet who care for nothing but for me to be happy for them. They meet new guys everyday...I've been jealous, sure..





But ever since i met this kid..Ever since we physically began spending time with eachother, my anger, and my jealousy has grown to enormous rates..I hate everyone now..





I keep telling everyone my problems, but they dont listen..They just reply ';look..i have a boyfriend, you should be happy for me..but if not, then i dont see how this relationship can continue';..


i was happy for everyone..but they keep breaking up and joining with new people..My family ignores me, nobody supports me, and I'm getting more and more angry..





All the girls think i'm ugly..No one will even speak to me...


I just WISH someone would support me for once, but no..They go


';okay, you've been lonely your entire life, everybody hates you, but i dont care. i dont like whiners, and you need to be happy for me even though im getting my virginity taken by different guys every week';





It's all about them...Nobody cares about me. And dont reply saying ';you think everythings about you'; cuz i dont...For years, i've been telling these people that im happy for them..I've been helping them cope with life, although they never help me..





How do i deal with this jealousy? What can I do?Im going insane..please, help me..?
i've made it my goal to help someone like you! I wish i could meet you, but the computer will have to do i guess. I hated everyone in my school to. For different reasons though. I also hated seeing couples. Not out of jealousy though. They all seemed so fake. Eventually, you'll find someone who cares about you deeply. You might already have someone like that and not know it. Don't listen to what other people say. People say things to me as well but I learn to ignore it. They don't know your good points. Everyone has some good points.


I'm afraid of everyone around me and i hate them and pity them all at once. Though i've never wanted to hurt anyone... well, i'm always ready to listen!





soulxeater13@yahoo.com





ps. i'm 14. i've never had a relationship, so no need to be jealous with me. i'm allways willing to help.





for some reason, i really like people like you. I WANT to help.Im going insane..please, help me..?
See a therapist? It might help you put things into perspective.





If you are really tired of these people try moving to another town.
You would really benefit from talking to a psychologist. It sounds like you have a lot of feelings that you should talk through with a professional who will help you see how you feel happier. If you're in school, ask the counselor if he/she knows someone you can talk to. If there's a university nearby, they'll probably have really cheap sessions with the graduate students who are getting trained to be professionals (don't worry, they are being carefully watched by a psychologist teacher to make sure they are doing it right).
Life isn't easy. Sure, it may look like it is for some people but not everyone. I have had someone very close to me go through the same exact thing you are going through right now. He went to the doctors and they helped him out; they gave him meds to control his depression/anger. But in order for the meds to work, you need to be willing to make an effort to be happy and accept situations your in. So far he has been doing a lot better and its been pretty great.





Okay so start making a list of what is bothering you; I'll help from what you've listed in the question.


- You don't have many friends


- Angry over things that can't be controlled


- Jealous of others


- Family issues





Alright you may have more, so just make a list and get it all out. Now, lets find solutions.


- You've made this one friend, right? That's a start! You have to make an effort to make friends, and you have to let the jealousy go also. You have to love yourself in order for others to love you. Get involved and meet new people.


- You need to learn to let little things go. Forget the girls, they are just screwing up their future lives. You don't want self-centered girls like the ones you described anyway right? This ties into jealousy also with the whole relationship thing. Doctors can give you medicine to make you calmer and happier; your body is missing that chemical that makes you carefree to put in simple terms.


- We all are jealous, some more than others. But it's up to us to look inside ourselves and focus on that instead. I've noticed you are very down on yourself a lot too. Don't be, give yourself a break! Create goals that will make you feel accomplished. Like, learn how to play the guitar or join some kind of sport. Do something.


- Alright family. A doctor could also help with this, like a family psychiatrist. Your parents probably have problems of their own to work with, but have you tried to communicate with them about your problems? If so, how did that go? I'm sure they care. And if you feel like you need help presenting your problems to them, a doctor can help with that too.





The main point is doctors WILL help. And I seriously doubt they said ';your problems are too much for us';. NO doctor would say that unless they were asking to lose their job.





Start looking at the positives. And I also like Alan's advice above, he makes great points.
i know you probably feel like your completley alone and that know one could possibly feel what your feeling but thats not true.


im always wishing that i was in a relationship and whenever i see happy couples i get jealous sometimes too. but it sounds to me like maybe you've got some personal issues to work out before you'll be ready for a relationship.


you have to be a little more positive about life, even though its probably hard to when you have to go through really crappy things day after day. all i can really advise you to do is be good to yourself and try and have a good outlook on life. it may seem like no one gives a damn for you sometimes but thats not true.


your not hopeless and your not alone
FORGET THE PHSYCOLOGIST, LOOK YOU ARE YOU, FIGHT ALL THIS, JUST FIGHT IT. YOUR EYES AND YOUR HEART HAVE HAD ENOUGH, THEY HAVE BEEN HURT BY ALL THESE PEOPLE, THATS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DEPEND ON STUPID PEOPLE LIKE THIS. BUT YOU ARE SPECIAL AS EVERYONE IS. BUT YOU NEED TO BE STRONG. YOU ALWAYS MUST DEPEND ON YOURSELF AND YOU WILL BE SUCCESSFUL, FIND A HOBBIE, JOIN A GYM, EXERCISE, PLAY GAMES, DO SOMETHING TO HAVE FUN. NEVER DEPEND ON PEOPLE LIKE THAT. AND 0N THE UGLY ISSUE, CMON, EVEN I THINK IM UGLY SOMETIMES, EVERYONE DOES. NEVER LET THAT BE AN ISSUE ON YOUR RAGE. BE HAPPY AND THE HELL WITH ALL THOSE LOSERS
Some thing that will change ur life... EXERCISE EXERCISE EXERCISE. Hit the GYM.. . Run for an hour, work out, involve ur self in sports. You'l feel confident, nd u'll burn all the stress... and u'l start getting chicks.








Trust me mate, first 2 week will be hard.. but then every tin will seem easy... YOU can do it... be a man... don't give up!


PS) FCUK the pills and shrinks...
I know what you're going though.


Somewhat from personal experience, but also I've helped my online friend though a lot who has had similar problems to this. If psychiatrists can't do anything for you, then you should get some meds, in my opinion. Yes, they will most likely help you. No, they're not going to replace that feeling of loneliness you have, but they will take the hate towards the world away, or at least help you cope with it. If you ever need someone to just listen, then you can talk to me, that's what I do best.


myspace.com/220164973
It's complicated, but the answer is control. You have to control what you percieve out of things people express to you. If these girls don't care, then you should be as care-free as they are about it. I don't know if this holds true on paper, but for me at least, jealousy is an emotion that eventually fades away altogether. I was good friends with a girl for several months before asking her out, then I did, and she ended up going out with her ex again after she told me to wait. The one girl I thought I'd die with cheated on me, several several times. These things and so much more tore me to shreds on the inside to the point where I'd go numb from the anger.. Then one day I decided to just say screw it, and forget everything.. Mentally, I'm starting over.. Sometimes, most of the time, it's not ';hearing what you want to hear'; from somebody, it's ';feeling what you want to feel'; about what somebody does or says. You can't let others' actions directly affect your mentality, because their influence will eventually overcome your own. Most people don't understand the concepts of what I say, it's aggrevating, but if you'd like further explanations just email or message or whathaveyou..





One question though, why does your friend make you angrier?