Friday, August 20, 2010

How would YOU cope in this situation?

I'm not so sure how to start this off so I'll try my best.





Me and my X Girlfriend were dating for about 2 years. Been broken up for about almost 6 months, well she broke up with me, really. We (ironically) have a 6 month year old son together. You see guys, I still pay for our phone bill. The baby lives with her because I work during the day and sometimes I pull 16 hr. Shifts. Which has me working all nights as well. My X doesn't work for now so she's a house mommy taking care of my son. During these 6 months, we still did alot of things intimate couples do now and days. For a while she hasn't been the same. I'd always ask to go see her and my son and she'd always have an excuse like ';Not tonight, I don't feel good.'; or ';I'm sleepy, maybe tomorrow.'; (Her and her mom are staying with her Grandparents.) and it's been driving me crazy. And when I would go see her, she wouldn't let me hold her in bed while watching T.V. and she'd give me just a peck on the lips and not a regular kiss.








Yesterday, I got into an argument with her and I just told her why did she have to be so stubborn and how come she wouldn't let this work for our son that I wanted us to be a family. She argued back saying that our relationship wasn't as ';Passionate'; as it use to be and it just died and that she doesn't wanna be in a relationship with me. So she started saying I can be a bad father sometimes which I take very personal. I went to her grandmothers living room and started listening to my Ipod. About 2 minutes later she comes in and puts my son on my lap and walks out the room. My son had My X's sister in laws phone in his possession. (Mine and the X's phones are cut off until I get paid this week.) So I saw the phone, took it away and saw that my X had been texting some dude telling him ';Oh do you miss me already?'; and stuff like that, yeah it hurt me and I gave her the phone back with the phone open showing the Text message letting her know that I saw it. She comes back in the room saying that I shouldn't have gone through the phone and I was stupid. She walks out the room and doesn't return. I finally put my child to sleep when I notice that I don't hear her talking.











I go into the kitchen and ask her Sister law where my X went and she said she left out the door. The 1st thing that came to my head was ';She left with a guy'; I felt automatic jealousy and pain and all that stuff. I waited for her taking care of my son till 6am basically ALL night, and she STILL didn't return. I woke up my X's sister in law and depended on her to take care of my son cause I needed sleep and had to go to work. I finally got ahold of my X over the phone at work asking her where did she go. She said ';It doesn't matter I don't wanna talk about it'; and ';It's none of your business what I did or didn't do, we're not together so I don't need to tell you anything, it's not like I do anyways.'; Which got me more angry, when I tried explaining to her saying I was gonna go over and have a discussion about it, she said ';Your NOT coming over, I don't want you to.'; And hung up on me. All I keep thinking was she had to have did something with somebody for her to be out ALL night. Seriously, I wonder why I even pay our Cellphone Bills, part of me wants to shut it off cause it's like I feel I got her a cell phone just so she can text and flirt with guys. Should I turn the phones back on? Why or why not? Yeah, I know my son is the innocent one in all of this cause it's true, I believe so. I mean, I take her out to a dinner and movie every now and then, I'm not mean to her, I give her money every paycheck for my son, I try to make an effort to go SEE my son, and yet I'm the annoying asshole in the end? I just don't know why I'm thinking these things, why I'm acting like this, SHOULD I be acting like this? Part of me wants to talk to girls, but the other part is affraid to committ cause I've been so use to the girl I got now. I'm sure if she's see something good about me again she'll run back 2 me but I just don't know what to do anymore. I love her but she's breaking my heart in every way possible, What should I do???How would YOU cope in this situation?
The only thing that needs to concern you is that you have NO RIGHTS that that child.


http://tinyurl.com/SingleFatherRight


\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\How would YOU cope in this situation?
I would cope with a bottle of good burbon.
What's so ironic about having a 6 month old son?
all i can say is that i feel for the poor child....
So you've broken up but you still want the benefits of an intimate relationship? Take care of your child and stop trying to keep a dead relationship going. She needs to get a job and help support the child. All you are paying is the phone bill? You two need to get some stuff in writing...visitation, child support.
I know you want to be a family but bottom line is she doesn't. You don't have to turn the phone back on, but how would you contact her to see your son?


I think you should take some time to yourself to get over this girl and move on with your life. When you see your son maybe someone can mediate so you two don't have to see each other...
Wow. Have you been checking her cell phone calls? It seems like she is being very immature about this. I don't know her side, but if I were you, I would get legal advice regarding custody because it seems like she will play games with you. If you have a job with crazy hours, you need to plan ahead so that you can make arrangements not only to see your child but to be a part time caregiver as well.





Since you are not married, I don't know your rights in this matter but there is no reason why she can't get at least a part time job. Why should you support her while she runs around with other guys? (we think)





Good Luck. Sorry that you have to deal with this.
Dear, its all right. Normally girls are emotional. She is a mother too. Try to see where you unable to with her. Also try to know what she is searching for, away from you. May this gives you a solution. All the best.
As tough as it is to realize, when a relationship is over for one -not both- that is what happens. Id' say leave her now, while you still have some sort of respect for her -for the sake of your child. You have a bond with this girl for the rest of your life, no need to make it harder. Seems like she has moved on, do yourself a favor and give yourself a chance to be happy with a girl who wants to be with you, who deserves a guy as considerate as you sound to be. Life is short, don't spend too much time trying to understand why she doesn't want you. Some people just move on, without realizing they are actually moving back.


Take a deep breath, do what you can to be around your child but let go of this girl. She'll realize her loss here soon. One woman's loss is another's gain. ;)


Best of luck to ya
A woman enjoys being chased but maybe she wants to be single and sees where it goes with other guys. Your son will always keep you two in touch and sometimes the love and passion never really goes away because of the love you two share for your child. Give her and yourself time to see what's out there. Don't keep wasting your time trying to get her if all it does is cause tension and fights with her. Your son may be young but can still feel the tension between the two. She is right though, if you two aren't together then she doesn't have to explain anything that she has done. My advice is to step out to the dating scene and see what you find. Maybe her jealousy will kick in and you'll see she still cares. If it doesn't, then yes she really is over you.
Dump her make, turn off her cell phone and when u give her money for the kid do so in a money order or personal check that way you have documentation that it was soley for the child's living purposes. She's gonna go after you for child support guaranteed so have your documentation to back up that you are helping support the chid financially. Let her go she wants to play still and not be tied down to one person find someone who is going to appreciate you.
How old are you?





You sound a little young, and it seems like you have a good job and whatnot.


I wouldn't turn the phones back on unless that was the only way to contact her seeing how she has the baby.


I would just wait it out. Try doing sweet things for her but don't bug her!


If that doesn't work then ignore her (except for the baby's purposes) and she maybe realize that she does need you when you're not there.
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