Wednesday, August 11, 2010

How to cope with jealousy in 2 y.o?

i have a son who will be 2 in january. I just had a girl on christmas (one week ago). At first my son seemed fine with the changes but is now showing signs of jealousy. I breast feed her and whenever she is in my lap being fed or im just holding her he HAS to be in my lap. ( which he's sick right now so im trying very hard to keep him from getting her sick) He screams all day now and is really throwing remper tantrums. Im guessing its for attention. ( which i try to give him more of since she has been born) He tries to dump her out of her little bouncer that i have her in sometimes.It's really starting to rattle my nerves and NEED some advice on how to help him feel better about his new sister.How to cope with jealousy in 2 y.o?
First, remember that being two is really hard. Next, buy him his own doll that he can imitate your behavior with. It isn't going to turn him into a sissy. It is going to show him that certain behavior is acceptable and certain behavior is not. You will be telling him these things as you do them for his sister.This will encourage nurturing behavior and allow him to better understand that hitting or hurting the baby is not acceptable. He is going to need to get extra hugs and attention form dad too.


You can't really blame him for being upset. A two year old doesn't have the ability to understand that the new baby is here to stay. That is why he was ok with it in the first week. Just consider how you would feel if your husband came home with a younger version of yourself , everyone was giving her the attention you used to get,brought her new clothes and gifts, and she was actually staying! No wonder he is angry! He feels the loss of every ones doting attention and your arms are occupied by someone he never expected.


Ask all of your guests to greet your son first, before making any move towards the baby. Have a small stash of little toys that he gets when someone brings a new baby gift so he doesn't feel left out. Make sure that he is told that he is getting a gift because he is the big brother and that he has an important job to help take care of his sister.


Lastly, try to wedge a story book on the couch and ready to your son while nursing the baby. He will feel like he is getting special time and hopefully things will begin to settle down over the next few months.How to cope with jealousy in 2 y.o?
Involve him in different things like changings or getting her clothes.When he does help, praise him for it and tell him what a wonderful big brother he is and she is lucky to have him as such.





Whenever you have time with him, make him feel special.You should also set a mommy and son day everyweek with him to where only you two go some place like the park or such so he doesn't feel out of the loop.
ask him to help you with HIS sister. i think they need that frame of reference. she's his sister, not just your other child. also, in the am, plan some special play time with him ';after lunch when your sister naps, me and you are going to something fun just the two of us'. he'll look forward to that and know that she's not your only priority.
I've found that allowing them to help you in little ways will make them feel involved. Plus it comes in handy when you have no hands free to have the older one be a ';go fer'; ;P

No comments:

Post a Comment