How do I deal with jealousy towards my pregnant sister in law?

I didn't suffer with jealousy when my other sister in law had her two children, and the only difference is that I don't like the sister in law who is currently pregnant. I've avoided all family gatherings since I found out in Decemeber, as I'm scared that I'll just cry when I see her. I suffer from severe depression so am not at my strongest at the moment. I feel awful for not being happy for her, but I'm just preoccupied with how it is bad for them, how it is irresponsible and they shouldn't have been so immature. I just don't know if I can cope with it. I want children very much, but due to my depression I don't think it is fair to try untill I am totally better.How do I deal with jealousy towards my pregnant sister in law?
I think your very brave and honest to admit your feelings of jealousy.





It's probably best to stay a bit remote at the moment.


You shouldn't feel so awful for not being happy I'm sure you have enough to cope with just getting through the days with your depression.





If it's any consolation to you I was not at all overjoyed when my sister in law was pregnant I had just had a baby and suddenly all the attention switched to her, but we' re only human aren't we.





So give yourself a break,


don't feel guilty just make sure you don't say anything hurtful because it can never be taken back best to just keep quiet it will all work out in the end.


Hope you feeel more positive soon : )How do I deal with jealousy towards my pregnant sister in law?
Your going to have to look past this, otherwise how are you going to be when the baby comes along, are you going to let this come between you and your relationship with your niece or nephew?





Are you getting help for your depression, either medication and/or counselling? Do you have anyone close to you that you can talk to without fear of them passing judgement, which will not benefit you at the moment. Allot of people don't understand depression and how it can take over your life and consume.





Is it jealousy or is it being protective of your brother. I think it's more the latter, sounds to me if you keep thinking about how irresponsible and immature they have been then they got pregnant pretty quickly and I'm guessing that your other sister-in-law didn't fall so quickly? It's natural for a sibling to want to look out for another sibling but you have to let your brother get on with things, otherwise you could risk losing him.





I hope you can work this out.
I can understand your feelings, and I guess it is partly your depression that makes you react this way. Depression makes you dwell on your faults and other people's faults. See, you are jealous and you blame yourself for being jealous. I can only say to work hard on your depression, get the help you need, and try to change your thought patterns. Don't inflict your depression on others if you can help it, but be polite at least. It sounds like you are trying to do this too. Don't give up; at least you are building your moral character through this experience.
The one good thing about this is you can be apart of this childs life, if you pull yourself together. Your depression is your problem not hers. Make yourself be more involved with her and maybe help her pick out things for the baby. Start yourself a journal about preparing for your own baby. It will be something you can share with your child when it's born.
to admit your feelings is one step closer to recovery.because you dont like her its easier to get jealous. dont brood on that.not everyone gets on with their inlaws.be strong you cant avoid everyone for ever.stop punishing yourself for how you feel. you're a very mixed up person who really needs some help. depression is a very serious issue that wont go away by itself. please go for some help(not pills) your doctor shoud be able to advise you.dont just ignore this it wont disappear like magic. you're a very emotional person in a very fragile state.having children wont take your depression away so its good you want to wait. please go for help take care xxx
Turn it around to a positive! You are going to be Auntie to another child! Just think about how much this child will love you and what an impact you can have in it's life! These kids will probably end being your child's babysitter! Then get the movie or book ';The Secret'; hopefully it will help you with your depression. Have a joyous day!!
What are you jealous about? Her pregnancy? You will have yours in time, do not worry.
Stay away from them if you cannot be happy for them.
well its too late if its bad for them or not, so just be happy for the child or your bro, that child is a new spirit coming into the world to hopefully make the world a better place.
'Well you can realize that maybe the situation isnt all that great for them either. That maybe they agonized over what to do. That maybe they are still trying to figure out how they are going to manage. Your depression is making you not think about others and thier feelings-some irresponsible and immature people have made a big mistake but it really has nothing to do with you. If you are this depressed get to a doctor and get some help then maybe you can have the child you want and not be feeling sorry for yourself over other peoples troubles.
Learn to live with it and deal with it! If you don't want to deal with it, don't bother!
Perhaps this is all about you! You want children and are jealous of her.Is that fair though? Why not just be happy for them and let it go. Making them unhappy will not solve a thing only cause animosity between you. I say let it go and concentrate on your situation so you can have your own children.
Thats normal. If you dont like her your anger will be higher. I have a problem with my sis in law, and if she got pregnant I would feel the same way. Im glad I had the first grandchild of the family. It sounds selfish I knnow, but hey, im human!! Good luck, I would say your feelings are normal!
if i were your sister in law i would be jealous of you, i mean who really wants kids they are hell ( well i know i was ) i too suffer from depression but i try not to feel sorry for my self just turn your jealosy into hatred
Sorry you are making Depression the excuse. I empathise with you for suffering from Depression but if you see her and think you will cry it is easy to vanish to the toilet until you feel better. To avoid family gatherings is distancing yourself and not doing anything to help your situation. You are also being judgemental of their circumstances which is really non of your business. I could see your point more if you were trying for a child and it wasn't happening but you are admitting it is jealousy which I admire you for. Just grit your teeth at the next family gathering, you don't have to stay long but taking one step I am sure will help you and your husband will also be proud of you for doing this. It can't be much fun visiting his family alone or perhaps not seeing them at all. It is a well known fact that the more you think about doing something you don't want to to the more the thought blows up in your mind but actually facing the situation it is normally found nearly not as bad as anticiptated. Try also to congratulate your sister-in-law, you can quickly change the subject but if you don't other are just going to think you 'bitchy'. Wishing you good luck.
coat hanger
I think you ought to ask this lady out for a friendly coffee and get to know her, then maybe you could be honest and say how difficult you are finding it. I don't mean go into great detail just a 'sorry if I've seemed a little unfriendly but I can't help but be so envious of you'. You could become friends and share her experience ready for the day you have your own baby!! Good luck.
I can already tell that when you do become a mother one day, you will be an excellent one because you are already putting your future childrens need's ahead of your own. Your right. Deal with the depression you suffer through before bringing a child into the mix. But don't rain on your SIL's parade just because your jealous. I don't think that's fair. I know it's hard but if you want to be a parent one day, you have to learn to set aside personal hatred or dislike of others and be the mature one as hard as it is sometimes. I know. It doesn't mean you have to brown nose. It just means try to be happy for her and your brother! You will be the Aunt to this new baby so embrace that until your day comes and I wish you a lot of luck and prayers.
Do not be jealous of your sister in law she perhaps needs your friendship right now, when the baby comes you can get involved and help them out. To act jealous is a very destructive emotion and can tear you apart, if you could bring yourself to be more easy going and happy for other people you could find that your depression could lift. Babies are very, very hard work although they are lovely, I hope you will soon be able to have one of your own, but in the meantime try to be happy for others, I promise you it will help to lift your depression.
i think this is crazy y b jealous, u dont have any she should b jealous of you